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On Being an Asian American Outsider
I don’t feel Asian enough nor American enough
There were so many times when I talked myself out of writing a very long, introspective essay about how I feel about growing up Asian American and specific experiences that reveal universal themes pertaining to the commonalities among the Asian American experience yet also are distinctly my own.
I’ve wanted to write about my personal struggles, realizations, and everything else in between about what being an Asian American millennial woman means to me, how I react differently to various stereotypes, and question the thought that my “Americanness” — not knowing enough about East Asian culture and not having hobbies or interests relating to my Taiwanese-Chinese background — somehow makes me a traitor to my own race.
But time and time again, self-doubt reared its ugly head, so I wrote poems and some random personal musings to pass the time. Yet I felt something was missing because I didn’t talk about my Asian heritage at length and wanted to—but these were the excuses that got in the way:
- “You’re super privileged for an Asian American because you are white-passing, and any sort of discrimination you faced was subtle, harmless, and minor.”
- “Other Asian Americans have covered the Asian American identity to death…
