Why So Serious?

I always thought I was Batman growing up — until I realized that society typecast me as the Joker before I was born

Photo: Getty Images

Growing up I never knew that my Korean American identity was missing from This American Life. Sure, my family didn’t always eat apple pie with vanilla ice cream or play baseball. But I was proud to be American each time I recited the pledge of allegiance with my classmates in the morning. At recess, I would always choose to play as the hero and never as the villain.

I played Superman with invincible powers and saved the world; or played Batman instead of Joker.

Now as an adult I understand and identify with Joker instead of Batman.

There is the iconic moment in The Dark Knight when the Joker asks Batman: “Why so serious?”

This is really a meta question. Because Batman was a billionaire playboy who lived a life of privilege and chose to play as a vigilante. Yes, his parents were murdered but his trauma wasn’t “special” or “unique” compared to all the other pain and suffering out in the world.

If anyone, Joker had more of a right to be serious when you consider his life of crushing poverty, constant public ridicule, and trauma as he cared for his dying mother. Batman’s trauma was one moment. Joker’s trauma was an entire lifetime. Batman never had to try for anything. Everything Joker tried for was always crushed without remorse. Dead on arrival.

Now I’ll tell you why I’m so serious.

Because I always thought I was Batman growing up until I realized that society typecast me as the Joker before I was born.

Because I’m fed up and exhausted from being marginalized and ignored.

Because I thought being serious could be my personal armor against the stereotypes about Asian men being weak and effeminate.

I won quite a few cosmic lotteries at birth. I am male, Korean by ethnicity, American by citizenship, and born to upper-middle-class parents in an era where Asians were considered the “model minority.”

My mom loves telling three specific stories about me as a toddler. The first is how I would always look after my older brother whenever I…